Growing Into a New Shell: Adapting Through Change
A reflection on change fatigue, adaptation, discomfort, and staying grounded through growth.
Change can feel relentless—especially in recovery, personal growth, or seasons of uncertainty. In this reflection, Josh explores the difference between trying to control every change versus learning how to adapt through it
Holding Every Change vs. Adapting Through It
I’ve been thinking about how much change we’ve all been riding lately, and I notice two different ways people are trying to deal with it (I have fallen into both at different times).
One way is trying to keep track of every single change—holding each one, making sense of it, reacting to it, trying to “get it right.” Totally understandable… but it’s also exhausting. It turns into carrying a bunch of separate weights instead of just moving forward. That’s where that worn-down, change-fatigue feeling really starts to creep in.
What Adaptation Really Means
The other way feels a little different. It’s less about holding everything and more about adapting as you go.
When I say “adaptation,” I don’t mean being totally fine with everything or pretending it’s easy. I mean being able to stay steady enough to adjust in real time, even when things aren’t fully clear yet. It’s more like, “Alright, this is what’s in front of me—how do I work with it?” instead of “I need this to settle before I can move.” All hail Viktor Frankl (iykyk).
The Lobster Analogy: Growth Requires a New Shell
The image that keeps coming to mind is a lobster (bear with me). As it grows, its shell gets too tight. It can’t stretch it or tweak it—it literally has to go hide under a rock, crack out of the old shell, and grow a new one. And in that in-between stage, it’s soft and exposed. But it’s still the same lobster. Nothing about its core changes—just the shell around it.
That feels kind of familiar right now. The way things “used to fit” doesn’t quite fit anymore. And trying to force it to fit is what’s making it feel so tight.
What Adapting Can Look Like in Real Life
Adapting, in real life here, might look like small things:
Letting a group be a little more real and responsive instead of trying to make it match how it used to go
Rolling with a last-minute shift without needing the whole system to make perfect sense first
Saying “hey, I’m not totally sure, but let’s figure it out” instead of feeling like you have to have the answer
Keeping your focus on the people in front of you instead of the moving target of processes
Being honest about when you’re stretched thin and adjusting instead of pushing through on autopilot
None of that is about lowering the bar. If anything, it’s about protecting what actually matters.
Growth Is Often Uncomfortable
A big part of this is being willing to sit in some discomfort. Things feel unsettled because they are unsettled. And there’s something honest about that. Growth isn’t clean. It’s a little awkward, a little exposed, a little “I don’t totally know yet.”
We’re Still Ourselves While We Grow
But just like that lobster, we’re not losing who we are in the middle of it. The culture, the care, the way people show up for each other—that stuff doesn’t disappear just because the structure is shifting.
We’re just growing into a different shell.
Be kind to yourself.
